Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
