Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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