he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
