the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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