Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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