PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
