I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
