Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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