false alarm. still invincible.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
