Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Someone shattered a urinal.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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