I love watching others lives come down to our level.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
