just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
