There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
