Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
