Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
did you just send me my own nude
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
