Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
