I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
