My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Randomize
