Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
