I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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