I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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