I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
