he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
