He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize