he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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