just tell him i said nine months
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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