If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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