I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
