I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
