Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
sex in a hospital.. check
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
