Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
