Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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