bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize