So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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