Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
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All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize