Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
