every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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