My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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