He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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