I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
