just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
