You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
