I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
