When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
