A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
