What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i dont even know how to be here
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
