It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
