is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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