So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
