I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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