i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
