The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
this just has baby written all over it
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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