mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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