I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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