Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
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Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
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And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize