ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
